Lost In Paris

I purchased my plane ticket before all the seats were taken. I wanted to go to paris so bad. I took a risk and flew to paris. On my first day in paris, i was super pumped to be there. I wanted to capture all of it. The next day we talked about love. I fell in love with love. Paris is where i tasted poetry. I really took note of all that was around me. I even considered becoming a tour guide like nelson. but like every vacation it gets to a point where your home sick a little or want to come home. I hit that point midway through 4th term. But, now that i have 1 class left, i want to go back to when we talked about love. I want another lesson, i want to have to make another video, i want to have everything i use to have. but now i have to leave paris. I have to go back to highland for a little and then start a two year class in Budapest. I am super excited and i loved every minute of paris, it was my favorite vacation i have ever been on. Hopefully i can use the experiences i learned in paris to help me through life. I guess we will see. So from paris to highland, Good bye Paris. I will miss you.

#realtalk

I know people read my blogs and know who i am. With that being said, I want to say something that i am proud to say. I am in love with Hannah Smith. I can't tell you what love is, but I can feel it. Its something I don't know how to explain. When i kiss her i get butterfly's in my stomach, It reminds me of the nervous feeling i get before i play a big game. I don't know why i get them. But, i love it.

You wanna hear real talk? okay, i love going places by myself. I love to take myself out to eat and sit there and think. People look at me like I'm weird, why would someone eat at a nice restaurant by themselves, but it doesn't matter to me. I love to sit and picture scenarios in my head of saving Hannah from someone, making a huge catch in a game, going to a big university, what i would do if i had 1 billion dollars. I picture myself raising my kids, speaking hungarian to an old lady in her house while we are both weeping, a young man that is confused and helping him see that perfect light. I sometimes get myself so wrapped up in my imagination that i will go to bed at 8 and lay in my bed and think about these scenarios and make them with great detail, i would stay up until 1 or 2 in the morning just thinking. Thats my real talk.

I Remember

I remember when I crashed my bike. I remember when walking to school, thinking I was so cool with my new rolling back pack. I remember knocking him out. I remember feeling bad. I remember the first time I saw her. I remember walking out of down the canyon by myself. I remember when we danced for the first time, the Hawaiian dance, and I remember the hug you gave me after. I remember when I couldn’t tell you apart. Now I don’t know how I got you confused. I remember my first varsity touchdown; I remember crying in the end zone. I remember all the work I put in, I remembered all the sleep I sacrificed, I remember my family supporting me when no one else did. I remember my dad believing in me when no one else did. I remember that moment, when I turned around to see everyone cheering. I remembering everything went blurry because of the tears in my eyes so I closed my eyes for a brief second and just listened to all the hope and support. I remember Daniel told me he believed in me and that we needed a big play out of me, he told me that he voted me as captain. I remember the feeling I got and thinking about what he said before I made the big play. I remember not talking to him anymore because he is too cool. I will always remember this season.

Enes Kanter

How to piss someone off

Steps

1) Make everyone sign a no bullying contract for blogs

2) Tell everyone that it is anonymous

3) Tell everyone to write their deepest feelings behind a mask

4) Tell them to take risks

5) Get everyone posting personal information

6) Tell everyone who everyone is without a vote/notice/headsup/ya

and thats how you do it!

The Comfy Chair

This is the chair that everyone looks at and wants to sit down in, but to your discouragement, a wood chair is just as good!

My dream to Nelson

My Dream: Put me on the top 5! I am not a great writer and I know that, but if you put me on your top five i will...

• come visit in ten years
• come visit in two years
• share a poem in the poetry slam
• cry
• never call you kyle again
• keep all these promises

Just please… I want people to see what have written… 

Jealous

Priscilla Belle:

" Seconds are falling like raindrops in Oregon and you have to catch them on your tongue for full effect."  

Just the whole thing is amazing… How do you think of all those things? I can't think like that! You are an incredible writer.

The Devil

Have you ever seen a horror movie where the devil takes place… maybe takes over someones body… uses there body to kill? have you ever thought, I'm glad that is just a movie…

Well i am here to tell you something… no to scare you, but to strengthen you…



He is real.

He wants you.

He hates you.

He desires to destroy you.

He wants your body.

Have you ever felt his presence?

I have.

But its good that the devil is real right?

Because if the devil is real… So is God.

The Moon

Why do we believe in the fact that we are the most dominant species… what if we are actually the bacteria to a human being, and all the pollution and crap is making him sick… what if the people that die, the ones with cancer, because he took some medicine to kill a certain bacteria and it killed them and we are trying to find the cure, but it is impossible to cure because our human is trying to heal its self. What if we were a small small part to a large large human. He must be getting old.

Who am I?

I am a competitor, I was breeded to be the best! I was conditioned to never lose, to never show emotion, to keep my chin up, and lip still during the toughest battles, in every fight I was taught to win, losing was never taught to me. You do things right and you beat the guy across from you.. Always. But I find joy in poems, and I love chick flicks, but I'll never tell someone that. I am what I was breeded to be, and I love it. but I have also developed some soft traits, maybe they will end up destroying me, but maybe they won't. My parents created me for two reasons, one to protect, and two to play ball like my dad. Those were my two jobs all growing up. That's who I was created to be. "If you tell a bird it's a chicken, it will believe it's a chicken."

Space camp

What burns in my bones?

Love

Love burns in my bones

Not often and not for just anyone

But for her, my bones burn

I feel it

I love it

When I see her, it can flip my whole day around

I am constantly thinkin, imagining, dreaming

I am lucky I feel it in my bones

Love makes my bones feel unbreakable

What is my dream?

To make it where the few have been with the girl of my dreams

You and me, forever!

Is it possible to live your own dream when your a grown up?

Some people give up early

I don't know why,

A dream is the fuel to your engine,  the question is, are you driving a bullet bike or a mo-ped?

Cheating

I haven't see you in a while and we started fighting when we saw each other. I didn't see that coming.. We have never been in a fight before. I am sorry. It is my fault. I didn't mean to start a fight. I know that cheating is close to your heart and I should have never told you that cheating was okay in anyway, even if it is just cheating on an assignment. Its wrong. In life, with the things I care about, I'd never cut a corner. In a relationship, on the field, with family, in the gym, i have never cut corners. I guess that is why i am who i am today. When I told you that everyone does it and its fine. That's when it hit me. Since when have I ever followed the crowd?  When have i ever gave into, that's just the way it is mindset? NEVER. I never have. When everyone got together to work out after school thinking that it would make them the best, I was in the gym before school, after school, and before bed. When My sister left, everyone would have understood if i was weak and give up as well. I didn't. I went through tough times but in the end i always am that example for my siblings. Where would i be if i didn't cheat on the little things i don't care about? If i didn't just get the answers from a neighbor? If I put in the work like I actually cared about it? I would be a heck of a lot better. I am not perfect. I am far from it. This is just one reason that you deserve more than me. I am weak in this part of my life because i have just always done it. When you said that cheating on simple things can lead to you cheating on bigger things. I knew that came from your heart. I know that your dad screwed up and that you have seen through all the little things, cheating and lying become bigger and bigger. I know you know i would never cheat on you or on my family. I wish I was good enough to prove to you that i was that good in school. I struggle. Its one of my awful weaknesses. But you were right and I will try and do my best to pay the consequences for not being prepared to class. I need it. And as much as it might suck, it will probably teach me a lesson. You know that you mean everything to me. You know i would do anything for you. When you agreed with your sister that you could definitely break up with me over this, that scared me. I am a little sad that you would say that. That hurt. I am hoping you don't feel that way. When you told me that this is something that you don't like about me today, it hurt. But i want to correct that. I know its impossible to be perfect, but i want to be perfect for you. I am sorry for today and I hope you can forgive me. I hope you know that I love you.

The Spirit 32,000 ft above the ground

32,000 feet above the ground, above the clouds, above a bunch of states, sits a man. I don't even know his name. He is 26 years old, and a pilot for the government. I am not sure why his path crossed mine, but as we talked, I grew a love for this man, and I was able to share my beliefs with him. As he sipped some of his beer, we talked, he asked, I taught, he learned. It was really nerve wrecking to talk to this 6'6 wall of a man that I have never met before. It really quizzed my knowledge of what I believe. After he told me that he was Catholic, I realized I have no idea what they believe in. So i asked him what they believe in. As he tried to explain, he couldn't. He didn't know what he really believed in. I was able to teach this guy about the restoration. He was pretty curious and asked questions about The Church and The Gospel. We had a lot of time and he was interested, so I taught him about the Plan of Salvation. It was a really nerve wrecking experience. I don't know why, I will be doing this for 2 years. I shouldn't be nervous doing it in English, when I know I have to do it in another language. As my brother next to me woke up, I brought him into this conversation, and my brother taught him the third lesson, faith, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end. As a 19 year old kid, I was able to testify to a man that there is a life after this and that his father in heaven loves him and wants a personal relationship with him, and that reciting a prayer doesn't connect you in with The Father. For some reason I felt peace, and My heart felt for his family and his baby daughter. I want him to feel Gods love and be with his family forever. Crazy experience.

Death

Heroes get remembered but legends never die! -Babe Ruth 

Top 3 Songs Of The Week

Young Love

All of Me

Preacher

Fears

Why should we fear?

No bird has flown higher than a man.
No animal has moved faster than a man.
No fish has dived further than a man.
Humans are not a prey to a predator.
We are Predators.
We are at the top of the food chain.
Nothing on earth can defeat us.

Humans are like diamonds
The Hardest substance in the world.
Nothing can break or scratch a diamond
except a diamond.

50%  Male
50%  Female

The Upper Class is considers Male.


Weakest ages 1-18
Strongest Ages 19-40
Weak 41-80

I am a 19 year old, human, male.
I am the biggest, shiniest diamond.
I am at the very top of the food chain.
Nothing can destroy me.


And that's what scares me.

My way of thinking

Cumulative GPA: 2.9
ACT:16
Honor Classes: 0
AP classes: 0
Have a Job? No

Looking at my Stats, I was asked "how are you going to go anywhere in life?"

"I may not be smart, but I am Brilliant" I said

Bricks

Bricks are a foundation which great things are built with and built upon. Something that I build with is My brother! He is my biggest fan. He hasn't been here for the last two years but every week i got something encouraging and supporting me in all that i try and do. I love it. He is now home and getting married. He is my brick that I use as an example. My brother is always there for me. He is someone who loves and cares and leads. No one in the world is like him. He is my Leader and Protector, I will follow that example.

True

"NO MATTER HOW BIG

 YOUR HOUSE IS,

HOW RECENT

 YOUR CAR IS,

HOW BIG 

YOUR BANK ACCOUNT IS,

OUR GRAVES

WILL BE THE SAME SIZE"

-UNKNOWN

Different

Im different(yeah I'm different) i don't care about grammar or spelling. I am just writing to write, if you are going to read this, don't! it probably won't make any sense. I am just writing off what ever comes to the top of my head(thats different right?).

 Why do we celebrate someones birth? isn't that a weird concept?

 I think that the color blue has always had a place in my heart because of the BYU cougars, even though i won't be going there.

 A straw is a marvelous invention, i mean lets put a hollow stick in a drink and put our lips on it and suck and the perfect amount of soda will come out? Keys on a keyboard, who was the idiot that mixed up the letters? i mean seriously, if the english language isn't hard enough, lets just screw all the foreigners over!

 i couldn't even imagine a chinese keyboard.

 paper, how do they get lines perfectly on millions and millions of sheets everyday? how are they cut so perfectly? does the blades ever get old? My last name should have been Blades actually, my dad was adopted and his parents last name were blades but he was sick of everyone cringing at the last name he has now so he decided to work really hard to have a good reputation for that name. He has done it pretty well and now its pretty well known in this world.

 My dog  is so lazy, he is laying there, sleeping, i think he might be dead, he sleeps all day and the only exercise he gets is when someone comes to our house and he has a heart attack and can't bark fast enough and loud enough at the door.

 That girl i like, yeah i had a dream about her last night, other girls were trying to get with me and she was my main focus and i wouldn't do anything in that dream to hurt her, so i threw all the other girls away for my girl. I think about her all the time. She reads my blog post sometimes, i don't mind. I like to let her know that i think about her. She makes me happy, Im going to miss her in five months. but until then, i am gonna enjoy it. 

all of it.

Love

Its my Moms Birthday today.

Love for you…

Nestled into a small town, lies a soul

Filled with warmth a sunset could never know

Even though I hurt her, its taken no toll.

She still loves me and gives me room to grow.

Her warm brown eyes have seen all my failings

And out of kindness, her hands still reach mine.

She missed all the baby stages of crawling

But was permanently there by age 9.

Her pretty face has been etched in my heart

Since that day we stood in eternal light.

Forever a family, if we do our part

Mom you're my hero. I hope thats alright.

Thanks for teaching me how to be like you

I hope this Poem shows all that you do.

Sky Diving

Driving to the air port… I am nervous out of my mind. Im getting myself amped talking with my brother about it. We are about to jump out of the Air plane. I am going to make this be the best memory of my life!! We are boarding the plane and I couldn't be more nervous, my life is on the line. But i don't show that i am nervous. The plane hasn't left yet… Im sitting there, thinking to myself if I really want to do this… We take off, my stomach is churning, I'm sooo excited and nervous, i don't want anything to go wrong. I have cotton mouth like the moment before a kick off of a big game. The door swings open, they ask, "Who wants to go first?" my brother is too competitive to let me go first, so he jumps and as he is falling he turns around too see me, nervous, but ready, i dive out the door following my brother. It is the greatest feeling in the world. Nothing could ever compare to this adventure.

Thats how you do it, that is how you fall in love. I know that feeling, I am in Love.

Hard Work

Hard work. I love it.

Crayons

WAX, Colored wax. friction on paper, colored wax friction on paper. Thats creative all by itself. We are talking about being creative with crayons when crayons were the start of Creativity.

Human

I am what I am because I am ME.

Nothing can change me. I can only change me.

I can change a machine. 

Can a machine change me?

maybe.. I don't know… Has it? I don't know.

I know where I am going, I know when to work harder. 

Does He? 

Divine Destination

What do I Fear?
I fear stagnation and lack of progress.
I fear never reaching my potential and being average.
I fear being forgotten.. The Past.. Yesterdays news.
I fear giving up and being passed by, going softly into that good night.
I fear letting those I love down, letting myself down.
I fear settling, giving in to the " that's just the way it is" mindset.
I fear dying without leaving my mark.
I fear not feeling these fears anymore and just floating along.
These fears feed me, they nourish my drive to strive for my Divine Destination.
Confidence.
Confidence is knowing that God called you and that if He called you, you CANNOT fail.
So I use that knowledge.
IF GOD CALLED ME, I CANNOT FAIL.
So I use that weapon that God has given me, to believe I can run a little faster, lift a little longer, and push it a little harder.
And when I kneel down at night.
I thank my Maker.
I thank Him for the Divine Calling that has been placed upon my shoulders.
I must remember.
Actions speak louder than words.
His glory is magnified through us.
God has chosen me out of the councils of heaven to strap on those shoulder pads and put on that helmet and represent him.
Every time he blesses me with a healthy body, and gives me a chance to represent him.
I thank Him before the battle.
As he continues to watch over me and bless me on and off the field.
I work as hard as I can to magnify my talents which He has given me.
Given a chance to represent Him, by putting on a name tag and/or by putting on a helmet.
I will always represent my Savior.

My Introduction...
Tiger Lilly is my pen name, it is what it is because of 3 things.

 1) TIGER, a very large solitary cat with a yellow-brown coat striped with black, native to the forests of Asia but becoming increasingly rare.

 2)LILLY, a bulbous plant with large trumpet-shaped, typically fragrant, flowers on a tall, slender stem. Lilies have long been cultivated, some kinds being of symbolic importance and some used in perfumery.

3) I bought all my school clothes at this place this year(I know lily has 1 L but I like two, it looks better).

I'm not the guy everyone see's on the outside, on the Friday nights, during the battles. People see me as a jokester and a class clown sometimes, but I have something inside that no one has really seen before. I am excited to break out of this shell and jump into Paris. TigerLilly defines me as a person because I feel like people like me are RARE! I like talking about deep, IMPORTANT things, I'm not really like anyone else, I'm not a hipster but I'm not a follower. I'm a leader. I'm me.

 "I'm me, I Do Me, and I Chill" -Kevin Durant twitter bio. 

Tiger sounds manly, and lilly sounds girly. I am going to post manly posts and I will post kind of heart-felt girly posts. But I put them together to make TigerLilly so I can post and Important things and Rare feelings that come straight from my heart, and pour it out on this blog. This blog will be my get-a-way from the world.